Absentee Note

Well, hello out there! (cue the crickets....)

Yeah, I know I've been out of touch. Haven't been here, haven't been visiting other people's blogs, I've been MIA for two months now which is CRAZY!!!! However I have a few really good (and even some not so good) reasons for my absence:

1. Hormones

I know, pretty broad excuse, but in the end hormones was probably the biggest reason I stayed away. I mean, look at my last few blog posts- Holy Debbie Downer Batman!!! I think I used this blog as a way to vent my pregnancy induced frustrations so that I didn't project them on anyone else so my poor readers, you got the brunt of it. (don't feel left out, I vented plenty bit to my IRL friends as well!)

Hormones also contributed to my ridiculously long case of writer's block; one look at my saved drafts folder serves as a testimate to that. I have multiple entries started over the past several months that just trailed off into oblivion and ended up dying a slow death simply because my brain just quit on me. And all the promises that I made to walk away and finish them later were empty. There are a few that remain on life support that I'd like to get up here evenutally, if anything to give me motivation to start writing again.

I also blame hormones for the raging case of bilateral carpal tunnel that presented itself about two months ago that have rendered my hands numb and painful. OMG, it sucks. I still can't feel the tips of my fingers, even though they tell me that it's supposed to go away post partum (hello, note to fingers!)

Yes, I'm post partum, which means my next excuse is.....

2. I Had a Baby

A few weeks ago, my little baby girl made her debut into the world!!! Sweet little K was born healthy and happy, and more importantly, on the last day of Capricorn (yes, that was pretty important to me and my fellow Cappy friends, LOL!!) She ended up being named after my hubby's grandmother after all. Despite the fact that we went in to the delivery room with a list of names that we both compiled, K just fit her the best. I did pick her middle name, which was somewhat out of left field but turned a name I sort of liked into a name that I loved. I can't imagine her being named anything else. And I can't imagine life without her.

All you parenting mommies out there know what the last few weeks have been like: minimal sleep, lack of adult interaction and bad daytime TV (really, E!, you can't come up with anything other than re-running "You've Got Mail" and the Kardashians all day every day?). Add in the fact that it's winter and I'm essentially housebound and it will mess with your mind. A few days ago, I had my sister watch K so I could run some quick errands, and I felt like an inmate out on a day pass. I never dressed so well just to go to CVS before! I cursed Puxatawney Phil on Tues over his lame ass six more weeks of winter prediciton, since if he's right I'll have ONE week of spring fun before I go back to work in April. I can't wait until the pediatrician will clear me to take K out: even if it's to window shop at the mall or sit in the bookstore with some Starbucks and a magazine.

Plus if I don't get out soon, I will spend all my disability checks on Zappos and Gap dot com, and that's just no good!

Because.....

3. There Is Just Too Damn Much Going On

So here's a brief rundown of my life since Thanksgiving when I last posted:

-Christmas and all that comes with it (holiday parties, shopping etc) which was no fun nine months pregnant.

- Right before Christmas, we got the clear to close on our new place, leaving us one month to try to move before my due date. Except thanks to the holidays, the closing date can't be scheduled.

-My OB puts me out of work three weeks before I'm due based on the fact that I start dilating and dropping quicker than she expected. She's pretty convinced I'll deliver any day, so she house confines me to try to get me to carry as close to my due date as possible. So now I'm climbing walls.

- We close two days into my maternity leave, but I can't do anything (ie: pack, shop for paint etc) because I'm supposed to be laying low.

-I now stop progressing, so now my OB thinks I'll carry to my due date. After an almost nervous breakdown in her office, we agree that I'll be induced 8 days early.

-K comes 8 days early, partially because I ruptured my water the day before so induction was now a medical necessity

-Endless parade of people call, beg to come by and see her etc etc. causing me to screen my calls.

- New place painted, kitchen reno planned, new bed deposited, nursery furniture to take delivery on

You get the idea.

Notice that I've not once mentioned adoption, because quite frankly, it's been on the back burner for a while. Aside from the fact that there are just other issues in my life that are more of a priority, my pregnancy did little to trigger anything earth shattering in that department. Things with AM are status quo for the time being. I e-mailed her on Facebook for Christmas, and we caught up on chat one night. But it's not going to stay quiet for long. As AM pointed out in our conversation, M's 18th birthday is coming rather quickly. She mentioned that she will be able to make her own decisions about who she wants in her life. (something I thought was already the case, but whatev.) Whether reunion is on the horizon remains to be seen, but the time has come for the issue to be addressed once and for all. We are both rather aware that in just six weeks, the gate opens so to speak and AM only has so much control over the issue anymore.

It amazes me that time has flown so quickly. It seems like yesterday that reunion was something that was in the distant future. And it's possible by the end of 2010, my life could be 180% different from when the year began. For someone who hates change, that's a scary concept. So I'll need those things that I relied on in 2009 and the years past to stay constant: things like the gym and my hubby and my bloggy friends, to keep me grounded and semi sane.

Simply put, I'm back! And I intend to stay for a while this time :)